As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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