if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
