please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
