my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
