Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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