she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
