It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
