just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
