suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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