all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
