Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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