i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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