At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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