I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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