Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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