Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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