Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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