im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize