we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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