went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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