yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
