God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
