Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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