Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
