if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
