can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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