you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
This baby is an asshole
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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