just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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