I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Randomize
