Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
