I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
