we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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