My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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