yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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