I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
