yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
