Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
