i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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