I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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