I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
