We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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