I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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