TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
