Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize