using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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