I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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