I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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