I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
