Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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