You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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