Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
