dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
