i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
This house was built for laser tag.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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