Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
