i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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