I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
