i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
