i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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