Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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