Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
