The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
