He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
