She's JV to your varsity
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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