I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize