i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
