Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
