ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
