you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
