my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
