there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
