brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
