i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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