There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
