She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
