I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
