i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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