Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
