I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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